…I have been here in the United States since May 17 and in San Francisco since May 19. It has been a quite delightful and message laden return to the Bay Area. I have seen numerous friends…some real heart-to-heart joy filled and tearful moments. Linda Bacon and her husband Charles threw a major party for my birthday at their home in Kentfield. I am so blessed to have so many old souls in my life to live and play with. Jamie Leo flew in from New York. Jamie and I go back to the 1970's in the Village….woah! We saw Marcia Ball and her band at Yoshi's on my birthday….she rocked the house. Poor…Dear…Divine…and most Beloved Carol Wheeler got ill and was unable to attend the show…Last evening we had dinner with Lolita and Catherine Abby in Larkspur…two bottles of wine…laughs…good food…ahhhhh mashed potatoes! And then today…it happened….I got in a car accident in the rain driving Richard's car…it was my fault…nobody was injured…but it has been a tremendous wake up call…My aggressive Taxi techniques from New York days must cease…waiting is the key to this puzzle….I am feeling extremely vulnerable and shaky…I could have killed myself or the other driver…it was an accident and a message….I was on my way to a meeting….and kerwap!….Wake up! Wake up! The real lesson here is to acknowledge how vulnerable we all are and to bring as much awareness to all tasks…..to awaken and smell the coffee…have a cup…and witness….
Archives for May 2010
Heading North: Yearly Visit…
…My friend Carol Wheeler and I are flying to LA on Monday from Mexico City. Lolita (LoveeGroove) is going to meet us at the airport (my palms meet in prayer) and we are going to spend two days in Southern California. We will visit Ojai and Santa Barbara and then head North to SF. I have been a bit out of sorts for the last month…however, things are falling into place and I could use this "vacation"..I need to have another perspective for a bit…some sea air…winds above Noe Valley…old Dear Friends…the Bay (The One and Only Bay Area)…The Ferry Building…Vietnamese Food…long Urban Walks…that sorta thing…as long as Richard continues with this on-line teaching gig, I will continue going North once a year…its good for me…stirs the pot..stirs the heart…
To Be So Strong…
…to realize the pinnacle takes some doing or better yet some "un-doing". As time goes by, I find myself up to here in "doing"…physical…mental…and above all spiritual. In quiet moments when this desiring nature is less demonstrative, a small trigger….and the gratitude fills my cup…vision…unaltered…these moments are fleeting…what are these "needs" about? Wanting to check out into absolute spacious unconscious blah! Weakness…habit…treadmill…Samsara…Oh! To be so strong to accept….clarity without fanfare…I remember sitting on a marble floor on an early morning…long ago…and hearing a man say: "Be Still and Know"…yes, the stillness…and to this day, the answer is in the Silence….yes.
Lovin’s Really Livin’…
…and I can attest to that…and I could use some real life Richard next to me right now. We are quite fortunate that this amazing union came to pass. And so it goes…we row in the outer banks away from the sameness of Clone Culture…out of style…outlaws in the slipstream…I think of him often when he is away…I remember him well…the stories we tell…our critters…this folly of a home…its the sanity in chaos that we embrace…its the ordinary breaking of bread…it is life… it is a lifetime of love we have been given…as Rumi says: "Let the lover be disgraceful, crazy, absent-minded. Someone sober will
worry about events going badly. Let the lover be." ahh this Grace is so disgraceful!
More Truth….Less Fiction…
…isn't that what it is? I told Bill today how hard it is for me sometimes to break through certain blocks that impede major work time in my studio. Goddess love him! He connected some dots that I was somehow not capable of seeing….and ain't dots my thing? He affirmed that not everyone chooses work where you must remain creative for hours….days ..lifetimes…that is my lot in life…such joy…such terror….he said I never would have been able to fit into the straight go to work thing…and you know i gave it a try from time to time…but I am the one who chose this fire….this edge will always be my companion…it is not a fight…it is just a fact…there is no security…no guard rails…just the remembrance of "what is and what ain't"….do I hear harmonicas?
Seis y Media en la Mañana……
….and guess what? It's another fiesta day in Mexico…fireworks…thumping basses…frightened dogs…perplexed gringos…people babbling on microphones…really bad brass bands…small grass fires ignited by the fireworks…liters of beer…trash…screams yelps….roosters crowing…we have lived here for almost ten years and I am still trying to convince Mexicans to try tranquility….Latin blood runs hot through indigenous veins…get over it Anado…This is Mexico!……and I love it!