There has been a lot of back and forth commentary on my FaceBook account concerning the documentary “Wild Wild Country”. The documentary chronicles the occurrences in the 1980’s in Oregon between the local people and the followers of Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh. I was one of those followers. I feel that I must set the record straight for myself about my relationship with Bhagwan…I have included a photo of myself with him and some others from India in 1980. Words will never be able to describe what I was feeling when he touched me as this photo chronicles…I just know that I was touched like never before and that particular moment is one of the reasons that I stayed close to his side for 11 years before he died…Many people who are aware of the history of Bhagwan in America accuse his secretary, Sheela, of causing the demise of the community and the instigator of the crimes that were committed by the community…..yes, she was very caustic and quite the criminal…however, I tend to disagree that she was the final source of the commune’s demise…Osho/Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh was aware of everything that went down at Rajneeshpuram…a friend in RLS (Rajneesh Legal Services) was asked (before Sheela left) to research the easiest place in the world to be deported back to the US from and the hardest place in the world to be deported back to the US from…mind you…this before either Sheela or Bhagwan left…the easiest: Germany…(Sheela and her group fled to Germany)….the hardest: the Bahamas…(where was Bhagwan headed) Case closed….I have my own personal relationship with this man…even in his Death I am related…I refer to him as the Criminal Buddha…Darkness and Light…this is what he showed me…no holds barred…I feel that it is my duty to myself to post this blog entry…this is my Truth…this is my Experience…I had the ride of my life and quite frankly…the ride continues…Giddy-up-go
Chapel of Jimmy Ray Blog
In the latter part of the 70's and into the late 80's I was immersed in a spectacular cultish woo woo experience that was both a magnificent and a quasi-disturbing experience…over the years I have attempted to cultivate the beneficial teachings of those moments and at the same time I have focused on distancing myself from the group/herd experience. I have no regrets…I probably would have expired at an early age on the Mean Streets where I was roaming and moaning before I met my teacher…I am forever grateful for the Darkness and Light that herald the unfolding of this thing called Life…Thankful…
As a sometimes casual observer of ex-pat life here in San Miguel. I am often reminded of one of my fave films from the 70's….there is something in the air…a foodie nightmare of sorts played out in sun hats and four wheel off road vehicles…something has run amok amidst the botox and the surprised surgically rendered faces of the reverse migrant culture undulating on yoga mats…Discreet Charm of the Bourgeosie….where do these observations lead?…will there be an outcome?…how much more can be consumed? who are these new "Trustafarians"?….is there a god of consumption? Who am I to judge? Who am I? Who am I?
We returned from Italy early on Sunday morning of this week. It had been quite an adventure that I will always cherish with Beloved Richard. We basically have hit the road running on our return with different projects and tours during this Dia de Los Muertos period. It was so good to see all of our Beloved Critters and to love them. Our Divine Matriarch Wheels was happy to see us and did her little dance…not letting me get too close at first. She has always been her own girl…She has been getting weaker as she approached fifteen. I remarked to myself how she was the only one left from the original group of critters that gathered with us when we first came to Mexico. The others had passed and she was "The Queen"….I have been having to help her get in her chair lately…she occasionally would stumble when running up some steps. I remarked to myself again yesterday that she was able to run out through the bars of the gate having never put on a bunch of weight. Yesterday we had a large tour of 30 women who came out to see the place. The tours that we give always culminate in my studio. Thirty American women in my studio…chaotic…I noticed that Wheels wanted out and I opened the door for her… the women started to trickle out of the studio to get in their vans to return to San Miguel…We don't like our little girl Perla out in the street but we allow the others. Wheels skirted out down the cobblestone road to avoid all the Gringa chaos and their vans. In the meantime Richard made us a beautiful soup and we were enjoying it in my studio while Carlos was working at the table where we were eating…His youngest son, Jaime Salvador came into the studio and was talking to his Dad…Something was wrong…So I ran out of the studio and on to the road and there lay the body of our Beloved Wheels…our Dear Beloved Friend's heart gave out on the road…The road that she ran down so many times to greet us when we came home from town…Her little body was still warm….I was sobbing…I am crying now as I write…these tears are my prayers…my prayers of gratitude for having Beloved Wheels in our lives for fifteen years…She has passed on…it is all Impermanence…these tears are impermanence…she will always reside in my heart…Beloved Wheels has moved on…she died with dignity and she graced our lives….
I find myself wanting to lash out. As a part of this human race, I feel violated by the likes of "not my president frump" and his cronies….I feel like just dumping a load of excrement on those who aided in getting him elected. I start an angry post on Facebook and inevitably I erase it before I open the galleys of a "shit storm"…I feel a bit helpless…as if all this turmoil that I witness is "out there" somewhere…this morning…here in the dark…as a kitty crawls across my lap as I type…..I remind myself: To Bring it All Back Home…have a good look at my anger…how is this anger serving me?…is this anger an honest gesture?…is this anger just the result of helplessness? It is important for me as a man to sit with this and watch this internal event in my consciousness. I feel compelled to express this…I find myself confused…lashing out only drags me down to un-needed strife…I shall stay tuned….and listen…and wait…two inches below my navel…the emptiness…the Buddha Nature….neither this nor that….just this…..nothing….no…thing….
I had the opportunity to introduce a film about the Grateful Dead last evening for the Guanajuato International Film Festival. Beforehand a new friend asked at dinner what song from their catalog did I wish to hear the most…being an old timer and not really a Dead Head (Not at all)….I am partial to their first album which was such a hallmark for me 50 years ago and especially the song "Morning Dew"…I replied that I wanted to have a listen to that old classic song one more time…sure enough…I got to hear this most divine version…but ultimately…I guess it doesn't matter anyway…however, Jerry transcended on this version…and in my book…that matters anyway….