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…back in the 70's while living in New York and impersonating a ball bearing in an outlaw pin ball machine…I had some brushes and fascinations with darkness and death…it seemed like the thing to do at the time…but honestly (as I knew then)…it was just a mask that I wore…I am lucky to be able to observe that period in hindsight now…I have made it this far.  Today I bought the book "Fire in the Belly" on Kindle…The author Cynthia Carr chronicles the life of an old running mate named David Wojnarowicz…he had achieved some fame for his art and writing.  I have mentioned him before in this blog.  But what I met tonight in reading about David touched me because in many ways…he and I were doing a lot of the same things and our flirtations in those days were tickled by dangerous hairs.  David died of AIDS…his spirit has moved on.  He has passed into all that is Mysterious.  I am facing life in the mirror.  I have survived my follies…hopefully it has made me a better man.  Another man…who I did not know that well  has passed recently.  We had been Sannyasins together with Osho/Bhagwan….Tonight I looked at photos that his lover had posted to honor his Singular Life…I felt a gentle sorrow coupled with a sweetness…quiet and nameless….I hope to find that Silence and undefined stillness…….I have glimpses…in many ways Death does come dancing…how do we choose to Dance in that moment?  Did David relax into the stillness…did he get past the darkness?  Was there a quiet light?  Did I project all my definitions and not knowing on these two passings?…It brings up a lot for me…it is good to check in…I am grateful for this Day!

…..well the ZOA Show has been a success…..it will be up until a week after Easter.  We had another large crowd and I was quite happy…..I went as Anado as Andy Warhol and someone remarked that I looked like Captain Kangaroo……I probably did…..we had some good sales and I was supremely happy to be showing with Oscar and Zoë….whew…and now we keep working and grooving and loving and growing and going……..TO THE BEACH ON MONDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Here are some pics from the event…..

 

Richard

Anado with Chris Hixon and Edward Swift…..

Anado with Kalyana Valeur in homage to Julio Galan

Christian Baumgartner in Homage to Julio Galan

……so the 3 person show ZOA opens this afternoon at the Chapel of Jimmy Ray….hopefully everything will run smoothly.  We have worked hard and I am excited to be showing with Zoe Siegel and Oscar Martinez Heredia….the Gallery looks clean and special.  There are some small final touches this morning and the doors to the Chapel of Jimmy Ray open at 1pm.  Wow!  Our third show…it must have been 6 or seven years ago that the kernal for the Chapel sprouted and now…it surely is a destination and will continue to grow…there will be some one day only happenings/installations today…and one or two special guest appearances…I hope that we get photos and I will post them real soon…so today is today…birds have flown from the cage…..I say hooray!

…I find myself 3 days into the year 2013….Now that is amazing, I have made it this far…stumbling…bumbling… by accident…lazer sharp…sometime with full intention. Today is another opportunity to engage and fill in the blanks and empty some ot this and throw out what doesn't seem to work any longer…but you never know…maybe it does work and I ain't workin' it. Luckily I get to meet with my friend Bill today. At age 65 I have a mentor. I have been seeing Bill for over 5 years now at his house. We meet and I get to talk and unload while Bill listens and adds his perspective and oftentimes he reminds me of my touchstone where I return to the Source and I bring it all back home and sometimes in tears of remembrance or discovery I find that pebble of truth to add to the mix and mosaic of what I call myself. So as Richard snores…I get to type and to check in and direct my consciousness through this Inner Channel where trust resides and cuddle up close to the unexplainable and breath….and breath…a thousand times and more…..

…to get with the Holiday Spirit…but quite frankly…even though I look like Santa…I am not really big on Christmas and all of the trappings.  I really enjoyed the decorative splendor of events in my early childhood but as the incidents of disfunctional parenting began to take its toll on my evolving charactar…I began to view these days at arms length… and over the years, I have begun to view the Christmas Holidays for what they really are…just days…but days full of opportunity and creative possibility…So let me be Santa…I own it…but I ain't your typical Santa…I am the Anti-Santa…11-11-11…the trickster.. the provocateur…the irreverent Santa…I bring no rules to the festivities…i got nothing in the bag…just a wink of the eye and an open hand….

….as we do every November, Richard and I are escaping any traces of American Thanksgiving Day and Black Friday and getting as far away as possible from Turkey Nightmares and disappearing into the unknown…sometimes you just have to say No……it's not like we dislike tradition…but we lean more toward honesty of Spirit and not towards the socio-economic madness that masquerades as "Thanksgiving"…so you will find us somewhere sunny and warm and mysterious and off the beaten path…giving thanks……