Uncategorized

…I am completing a piece today…Photo/Assemblage titled:  "Self Styled Self-Taught Artist Perplexed by the Prison of Attention Seeking Diisorder (ASD)"…A certain person here in San Miguel with museum credentials once said I should not refer to myself as a "self-taught artist"…I believe she was reacting to my comment about a certain exhibition that had that "Contemporary Art staged look"…the kind of thing that makes me yawn…..I am having a really good time with this….it will be on view at the Chapel of Jimmy Ray on August 2…..I will have some more photo/assemblages to add……Richard keeps wanting me to do paintings…..maybe in September…..Life is full on and of the Groove Nature…..Viva la Vida!

Our Sweet Beloved Slidell has gone to the further shore to join Patzky and Kali to romp in eternal delight.  He came into our lives 11 years ago this past June.  We loved him so.  He and Patzky were brothers and I am so saddened to have lost them both this year.  This is a hard one…he was Richard's dog…mine too…but he was Richard's…..the memories of him sleeping under the desk or jumping on the couch and his wagging tail knocking things over…we have been so blessed to be with him…yesterday he could not jump on the couch and I felt how skinny he had become…he had an inoperable tumor in his throat…we were going to try and fatten him up…he had a great last meal…but he could not keep it down…he was in the studio and I heard him trying to vomit…so I let him out the door and he went down into the garden…Carlos and the guys found him this morning….Slidell….Sweet Slidell is gone…his Spirit will always be with us….this is a tough one……

…in late January of 2004, Richard and I ventured to Patzcuaro for the first time.  We went with a group of friends.  What a lovely town…it was during the Purepecha New Year and Patzcuaro was alive and festive.  One day we were hanging out in one of the town squares near the Public Library…taking it all in…A black Labradour mix dog soon engaged me…he just wanted to be near me and was extremely playful.  He just could not get enough and started following me around…We decided we wanted to visit the Library and sure enough the Lab followed us to the entrance…I told Richard that if this dog follows us into the Library…he is coming home with us…and sure enough he did!  We kept him in our hotel room and noticed that he had a bad cough…….We took him to the Vet and he was given some medicine…the doctor told us that many of the street dogs in Patzcuaro were suffering from a lung ailment of sorts…it was about then that I gave him the name Patzcuaro…Patzky for short….The night before he came into our life…I had a dream and a word came in that I did not know…I googled the name and for the life of me…I can not remember the word…but it was a pre-Hispanic Native word for fate or kismet…Patzky was directed to come with us and watch over us I believe…he stayed with us for over 10 years…he was run over once…kidnapped one or two times…he was extremely frightened by the fireworks…he loved to go for long walks….he sat on the road in front of our house every morning….soaking up the Sun…When I left our house early last Wednesday morning…I let Patzky out the side door…that was the last time I saw him….I had a strange feeling that this may be the last time I would see him…I wish I had hugged him….he must have gone for one of his long walks last Friday or he was confused and frightened and was trying to find me…We will never know…but our Divine Friend and my assistant/brother Carlos went out looking for him…he found him yesterday…near the bridge on the New Road to Guanajuato…Patzky is no more in his body…Carlos buried him in the lower part of our property near Beloved Dilly Jo our departed burro… Sweet Dear Divine Patzky will always reside in our hearts.  I admit that he was so much my favorite dog…even though my love is limitless for all the rest of our critters….but Patzky was my boy…my divine Bilby Boy…my Sweet Dear Friend…I will miss you forever…My Bilby King…..

….hopefully in here….inside this beingness….inside this mysterious phenomenon of Life…I am awake in these early hours of the day…sleepless since 2ish…….Richard too…we went to bed at 9pm…I experience myself taking a toll on myself and others…witnessing as I toss and turn this awful aimless prison of blame that I sometimes inhabit….And now remembering the core of my True Nature that I miraculously stumbled upon with the aiding and abetting of a clever Wizard way back when….and for a few moments I am awash in the deep surrender of tears and remembrance….I once heard a Mystic say, "Remember Thyself", and I go deep into those words of encouragement….and there is a door available to pass through and the availability of forgiveness for those that I close my heart to… and I am grateful… I find release in these words…and it is somehow OK to forget…because then again there is that beacon of remembrance…and possibly without really hoping, but with intention and awareness that beacon can become more constant and there I will be…better yet here I am………where I will be….

…we awakened early this morning at the hotel in Kathmandu and our taxi driver took us to Bhaktipur an amazigf town just outside Kathmandu…a complex of temples an old nepali architecture…truly an amazing place.  We were possibly the first Westerners to arrive so it was just us and the Napali people who live there.  We strolled through ancient palaces and temples…It must have been like Bhaktipur when the first overland hippies arrived in the Kathmandu Valley in the late 60's…we strolled down a lane near the wood carvers square and I noticed an unpretentious jewelry shop…the sign above the door included a photo of my teacher Osho (Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh)…of course I had to check it out and I inquired inside.  The young man behind the counter was a disciple of Osho…his name was Swami Pramod Ananda…he told me that there was an Osho Center nearby and that he would take us there.  I told him that I met Osho 35 years earlier and had spent a number of years with him.  We folded our hands in Namaste and looked one another in the eye…I immediately hugged him and broke down in sweet sweet tears of remembrance that colored the present moment…all those years of being with my Teacher…all the reasons that I went to be with him in India…everything that is bitter and sweet filled me with absolute joy and tender bliss…I last saw Osho in 1989…he died around 1990…I have kept a distance from his commune and even denied my connection to him more than once…when we went to the small Osho Center….the young man gave me a cushion and I knelt on the ground in silent weeping…the connection is still there…the beauty that surrounds me…Osho pointed this out to me years ago in India…in many ways I returned to the Source of my Being today…at one time, being with my Teacher…he pointed out the way on my Path with me…when he died, I was on my own…and today…I am still on my own…but the Beacon of energy that flowed through that man, well, it still shines and that Beacon is in my heart…today was a return…Bringing it all back home….Only in Silence the Word…Only in Darkness the Light…Only in dieing…the Light…

…Last evening Richard and I went exploring in the Sufi Neighborhood near our hotel here in Delhi.  Suffice to say:  It was amazing…truly amazing…The streets were absolutely alive…it was an India that I remember from over 30 years ago…the grit…the guts of it all.  Afterwards we had a delicious meal at Karim's…such a delight…afterwards we headed back to meet our driver on the busy avenue…We were surrounded by rickshaw drivers and hagglers vying for our attention.  A man asked me in good English:  "Where are you from"?  I replied that we were from Mexico….he said "O Good, but you sound American"….Richard told him that we had been born in the US but now live in Mexico…He asked if we had ever visited India before…Richard declared that it was his first time and told him that I had lived here before…he asked me where and I told him Pune….he said, "Osho"?  I said, "Yes, I knew him"…he looked at me in disbelieving wonder and said, "Really'?  I said yes, I had known him…and then my heart filled with tears of remembrance, just like now as I type…and the memory of that meeting and years spent with that man beckons me home to the Source of my Being…and I remember…not something from the past…but a cellular memory of "What is"…I do not make this up or feel any sentimentality…just a remembrance…a return…a return to the Source…I am a lucky man…