Only in Silence….

…around the Late Spring of 1978 I finally achieved my rock bottom….I was a bundle of depressed hysteria fueled by drugs, sex and alcohol… I was playing out my drama for a small  nebulous audience under the guise of an "artist/poet". A string of serendipitous circumstances led me out of my guttural niche and I found myself bowing at the feet of a mysterious man in India who gave me the name Anado.  In hindsight, I believe I was afforded the opportunity of a newer "spiritual" identity to heal the troubles that surrounded my True Nature.  Anado is a Sanskrit word implying "No Sound" or "Silence".  I believe that I was given the name as a clue and for 38 years or so I have followed the clue.  That mysterious man was known as Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh when I met him.  I stayed close to his side for 11 or so years. Towards the end of my stay in his Community I began to feel the need to be less attached to this particular teacher and to move forward on my own…A friend once likened this process as getting rid of the training wheels and riding the bike alone balanced on two wheels.  What a profound experience it is to occasionally experience that balance within…I can say in all honesty that the experience of balance is less in the forefront of my Journey and my stumbling personality seems to be leading the way most of the time…But those glimpses…those opportunities of true balance are a constant reminder…a carrot hanging in front of me.  Today as an artist…I still seek that silent bond with the creative force…there is still so much to learn…not about a product or finished work…it is about the process and the relaxation of just doing the work…riding the wave…the artist Marina Abromovic has expressed,

"An artist has to understand silence
An artist has to create a space for silence to enter his work
Silence is like an island in the middle of a turbulent ocean"

It is a matter of returning for me to find that Silence…returning to the Source…bowing at the Feet of my own True Nature…knowing which way the wind blows…….